The Day I Ran Away — And Finally Found My Boundaries

"This was the day everything changed."

I didn’t grow up with boundaries—I grew up with burdens.

From a very young age, I became “the responsible one.” My childhood trauma shaped me into someone who constantly carried the weight of others, especially after my father left and my mother broke under the pressure. I didn’t have time to be a child. I became the protector, the helper, the one who made sure things didn’t fall apart.

And I never stopped.

Even as an adult, even after my children were grown, I still believed their problems were my responsibility. I thought I was helping… but what I thought was help started to look like control. My intentions were pure, but my boundaries were broken—or more accurately, non-existent.

My aha moment didn’t come gently.

It came after a family disagreement that left me feeling completely depleted, misunderstood, and emotionally raw. I didn’t know what else to do… so I ran away.

Literally.

I packed nothing. I left my home and checked into a hotel with only the weight of my emotions and the clothes on my back. I bought necessities the next day, but what I really needed couldn’t be purchased. I needed clarity. I needed healing. I needed truth.

For several days, I sat with God. I cried, I prayed, I journaled. And in that sacred, painful space, He showed me something I had never truly seen:

I was carrying weight that was never mine to carry.

I had confused love with responsibility. I had confused enabling with support. And I had confused self-sacrifice with faithfulness.

God whispered something into my spirit that shifted everything:"You were never meant to hold everyone else together. That’s My job."

That was the moment I realized—I needed boundaries. Not walls to shut people out, but boundaries to protect what God was restoring in me. To make space for peace, not pressure. To let my adult children live their own lives, make their own mistakes, and grow on their own terms. And to stop defining my worth by how needed I felt.

Setting boundaries is not a rejection of love. It’s an invitation to healthy love—real love, rooted in respect and freedom.

If you’ve been where I’ve been—feeling like you’re doing everything right, only to be misunderstood and worn down—I want you to know this:

You are allowed to let go. You are allowed to choose peace. You are allowed to protect your heart. And you are still a good mother, even when you say no.

I didn’t just run away. I ran toward healing. And maybe it’s time you did too.

It's your time now!💛

With grace and growth,

Roxanne