Honor Yourself First: How Respect Impacts Our Relationships

There’s a funny thing about respect: it’s less about what you insist on, and more about what you quietly allow.

I used to think that being kind, patient, and understanding would guarantee respect. I believed that if I twisted myself into a saintly pretzel, people would treat me well. Turns out, that’s not how it works at all.

Understanding Self-Respect

Respect is mirrored. If you honor yourself, set healthy boundaries, and carry yourself with quiet confidence, most people will instinctively rise to meet you there. But if they don’t? You’ll be strong enough to handle that, too.

When you belittle yourself, neglect your own needs, or allow your “no” to turn into “well, okay, I guess,” don’t be surprised when the world follows suit.

Remember, self-respect is essential. You must cultivate it in your life.

And yes — before you think, “Well, that doesn’t apply to my kids…” let me gently say: oh, yes it does.

Even the Ones You Birthed

As mothers, especially those of us who are tender-hearted, we often excuse disrespect from our children by saying, “they’re just kids,” or “they’re going through a phase,” or “I’d rather keep the peace.”

Of course, there’s grace for growth. Children — even adult ones — are learning how to navigate life. However, repeated patterns of disrespect should never be tolerated. This applies no matter whose DNA they carry.

Disrespect from your child, whether they’re 14 or 40, is still disrespect. By allowing it, you inadvertently teach them it’s okay to treat you poorly. Worse, you may teach yourself that you deserve this treatment.

You don’t.

A Note on the “No Contact” Trend

Let’s address the growing trend of adult children choosing to go “no contact” with their parents. Sometimes, this is necessary due to genuinely harmful family dynamics. However, many cases stem from perceived parenting failures. Often, these weren’t abusive actions—just imperfect parenting from imperfect humans.

This situation can be heart-wrenching. As a mom, I can’t imagine the pain of a child choosing to cut off all contact.

But here’s the hard truth: we must continue to hold firm in our self-respect, even then.

Do not chase someone (even your child) at the expense of your dignity. Don’t drop your boundaries in desperation to keep them around.

Sadly, after a lot of wasted time and heartbreak, most will eventually realize—often through their own children—that no one is a perfect parent. They may circle back with new understanding.

In the meantime, honor yourself. Stand firm. Keep your heart open, but don’t let it become a doormat.

How Do You Start Honoring Yourself?

Starting to honor yourself begins quietly. It’s not about grand declarations, but rather small acts of dignity that you show yourself daily:

• Say no without feeling the need to over-explain.

• Rest without guilt.

• Speak kindly to yourself in the mirror.

• Don’t minimize or laugh off when someone crosses a line.

And yes — calmly (but firmly) let even your child know, “I won’t be spoken to that way. I love you, but this is not okay.”

Your children watch how you treat yourself. They’ll learn how to treat you—and themselves—by your example.

A Small Heart Check

Let’s pause for a moment. I’d like you to reflect on a few questions:

• Are you demanding respect in your words but not showing it in your actions toward yourself?

• Are you allowing mistreatment because you fear conflict more than you crave peace?

• Are you letting guilt or old patterns keep you stuck in unhealthy dynamics?

  
  

Watch the World Adjust

When you start honoring yourself—through your words, decisions, self-talk, and boundaries—people take note. Some will rise beautifully and honor you even more. Others may pull away. While that can be difficult, it often reveals what was hiding all along.

Regardless, your heart will breathe easier. Your spirit will grow stronger. Your relationships will become healthier or fade away, making way for better ones in the future.

So today, remember this:

Respect isn’t demanded — it’s mirrored. Honor yourself first, and watch the world adjust.

Even (and especially) those you birthed. 💛

Conclusion

Before you go, I want to leave you with a short prayer. If this resonates with you—perhaps stirring a tender spot or a quiet ache you’ve been carrying—let these words be a way to invite God into it.

Lord,

Help me honor the life You’ve given me by respecting myself—my heart, my time, my voice, and my boundaries. Teach me to stand firm in love, not fear. Give me the courage to let go of people-pleasing and the wisdom to know when to draw healthy lines, even with those I love most. Heal old wounds that make me question my worth, and remind me daily that I am Yours—worthy of respect because You say so.

Amen.

Remember, honoring yourself is a journey, but it is worth every step.