Finding Freedom Framework: Part 2 - Forgive

Forgiveness is key!

When it comes to healing and growth, finding the root of our struggles is essential. That’s why the first step in the Finding Freedom Framework is to Find—to trace back and discover where certain behaviors or beliefs were formed. But recognizing the origin of our struggles is only the beginning. If we stop there, we may be left with resentment, bitterness, or self-blame. That’s why the next step is Forgive.

Forgiveness is not about excusing harmful actions or pretending that pain didn’t occur. It is about releasing the toxic grip that those memories and experiences have on our lives. Without forgiveness, we can easily fall into the trap of trading one toxic behavior for another. Resentment can turn into bitterness. Blame can turn into self-righteous anger. And none of these emotions lead to true healing.

Maybe you grew up in an environment where you didn’t feel safe, and now you struggle with anxiety. Maybe your family was split, and that left you with deep-seated trust issues. It’s natural to want to assign blame, to point to those who should have done better, who should have protected you, loved you, or guided you.

But here’s the truth: Blame will never set you free. Resentment will never bring you peace. And holding onto anger, even when it feels justified, only keeps you trapped.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It doesn’t mean that you are saying what happened was okay. It doesn’t mean you have to forget or even continue a relationship with someone who hurt you. But it does mean that you are choosing to release the weight of that pain, to no longer let it define you.

Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is yourself. Maybe you look back at choices you made, words you spoke, or opportunities you missed, and you feel shame. But just as others were shaped by their circumstances, so were you. Holding yourself hostage to past mistakes only keeps you stuck.

So, how do you begin to forgive? It starts with a decision. You choose to release, even when your emotions aren’t ready to follow. You choose to pray, to ask God to help you see the person (or yourself) with compassion. And you choose to remember that forgiveness is not a feeling—it’s a decision to be free.

Only when you forgive can you move forward to the final step of the Finding Freedom Framework—Free. Living in freedom means you are no longer bound by the weight of the past, and you are empowered to set healthy boundaries, build authentic relationships, and live in peace.

You deserve that freedom. But it starts with forgiveness.

Love ya!

Roxanne xoxo