Find. Forgive. Free.
- roxannereflects
- Apr 28
- 3 min read
Have you ever felt trapped by old patterns you thought you "should" have outgrown by now?Maybe you find yourself over-accommodating your grown children — always putting their needs before your own, even when it leaves you feeling exhausted and unseen.
You're not broken. You're not weak.You're carrying wounds and patterns that were never yours to keep.
At Roxanne Reflects, I created the 3F Framework — Find. Forgive. Free. — to help women like you (and like me) finally understand and release the weight we've been carrying for too long.
Let me walk you through it:
Step 1: Find the Root
Before we can change anything, we have to understand where it started.The 3F Framework begins by asking simple but powerful questions:
Where did I learn to tie my worth to taking care of others?
When did I first believe that love had to be earned through sacrifice?
Whose expectations am I still trying to meet — even now?
Healing doesn’t begin with judgment.It begins with curiosity and compassion.
Finding the root isn't about blaming anyone — it's about discovering the unspoken lessons and survival strategies we picked up along the way.When you see clearly where the over-accommodating patterns began, you can finally choose to lay them down.
Step 2: Forgive Others (and Yourself)
Once we find the root, the next step is the hardest — and the most freeing: Forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not saying the hurts were okay.It’s not minimizing the pain or pretending the burdens weren't real.
Forgiveness is about releasing:
The parents who modeled dysfunction.
The cultural expectations that told you a “good mom” never says no.
The self-judgment that whispers, "You should have known better."
And perhaps the most important — forgiving yourself:
For the ways you tried to love your children by sacrificing yourself.
For the resentment you sometimes felt but pushed down.
For the years you spent running on empty, believing that was "what moms do."
Forgiveness sets the captives free — and the first captive is often us.
Step 3: Free Your Future
After finding and forgiving, comes the beautiful final step: Freedom.
This is where you begin to live differently — not because you're harder on yourself, but because you finally believe you're worthy of peace.
Freedom looks like:
Saying no without guilt.
Allowing your grown children to live their own lives — without feeling responsible for their every decision.
Making yourself a priority without shame.
Trusting that God is parenting them now, too — and He doesn't need you to carry it all.
Freedom doesn’t mean you stop loving.It means you love from overflow, not depletion.
It means you show up as a whole woman — not just a mom — and you reclaim the dreams, the identity, and the peace God always intended for you.
You Were Made for More
If you're reading this and feeling a lump in your throat — that's not weakness.That's hope stirring in you. 🌸
You were never meant to lose yourself in motherhood.You were meant to thrive as a daughter of God, full of His peace, purpose, and joy.
The 3F Framework isn’t a quick fix — it’s a faithful process of healing, one brave, beautiful step at a time.
Find. Forgive. Free.Your freedom story is still unfolding — and it's not too late. 💛
Ready to start your own 3F journey?Download my free printable "3F Reflection Guide" to walk through these steps in your quiet time with God.(Coming soon — stay tuned!)
✨ Roxanne Reflects | It's Your Time Now ✨
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